Monday, March 31, 2014
Week-long getaway
So I am officially taking a much needed getaway. After this crazy winter, hopefully my road trip will lead me somewhere warm! For now I will just drive and see where I end up. Also, I am super excited to announce that I will be attending my first blogging conference...yay! I have no idea what to expect, but I am hoping to learn a lot, get inspired, and meet some really lovely people. Can't wait!
More to come soon :)
Monday, March 17, 2014
Let's get lost.
"We must take adventures in order to know where we truly belong."
2013 was one of the, if not the worst year of my life. I made many mistakes and I am taking steps to learn from them. The events from last year made me forget who I was, what my goals are, and what I want out of life. I spent too much time worrying. Worrying about how things would turn out, about what other people thought, about my own happiness. I realized at the time that I was making the wrong choices, but something was telling me I had to make them. My judgement was being clouded by feelings and emotions that I had never felt before. And I loved those feelings. I wanted them to stay forever, even though at the same time I had to put up with the bad feelings and forget myself in the process.
This past week I have been battling very dark emotions from my past...struggling against them, pushing them away. Yet they won't leave until I am forced to deal with them. I always distract myself with a book, a tv show, lighthearted conversation, SOMETHING so I won't have to face my demons. When I do have those quiet moments, I find myself longing for the feelings of comfort and false sense of security that the past year brought me. Although I know that it was never in my best interest, I want to go back. After having a talk with a good friend, I realized that going back would mean I was settling for a life that wasn't me. A life I never wanted, one that didn't fit for me.
I've always believed in living life to the fullest, having a never ending sense of curiosity, pursuing your dreams and never settling. Lately it seems that I forgot that. I am determined to make peace with the past and remember who I am. Everyone gets lost once in a while...it's all part of the adventure. Maybe we're meant to take a couple detours now and then. Besides if we never got lost, how would we find our way back again?
2013 was one of the, if not the worst year of my life. I made many mistakes and I am taking steps to learn from them. The events from last year made me forget who I was, what my goals are, and what I want out of life. I spent too much time worrying. Worrying about how things would turn out, about what other people thought, about my own happiness. I realized at the time that I was making the wrong choices, but something was telling me I had to make them. My judgement was being clouded by feelings and emotions that I had never felt before. And I loved those feelings. I wanted them to stay forever, even though at the same time I had to put up with the bad feelings and forget myself in the process.
This past week I have been battling very dark emotions from my past...struggling against them, pushing them away. Yet they won't leave until I am forced to deal with them. I always distract myself with a book, a tv show, lighthearted conversation, SOMETHING so I won't have to face my demons. When I do have those quiet moments, I find myself longing for the feelings of comfort and false sense of security that the past year brought me. Although I know that it was never in my best interest, I want to go back. After having a talk with a good friend, I realized that going back would mean I was settling for a life that wasn't me. A life I never wanted, one that didn't fit for me.
I've always believed in living life to the fullest, having a never ending sense of curiosity, pursuing your dreams and never settling. Lately it seems that I forgot that. I am determined to make peace with the past and remember who I am. Everyone gets lost once in a while...it's all part of the adventure. Maybe we're meant to take a couple detours now and then. Besides if we never got lost, how would we find our way back again?
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